Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Morals to the Aid of Society 1:Judging Patty

My new label: judge.

Pejorative? Highly. Uplifting? Hardly. Nonetheless true and exact? Very.

This is probably the most difficult thing for me to come across well at. I mean, when i speak religion, everyone knows that im full of it and doen't care, but when i start impeding on others territory, i come across as a judge. Like Douglas in my class asked, more or less rightfully: who made you judge over everyone else's actions?

i guess the answer is that it is self appointed, though some would also add that it has to do with being a Christian: i need to screw peoples lives up, for the better usually. But you come across as a judge.

But i would hardly rate myself as a judge, rather, a friend. Friends tell friends when they disagree with what a friend is doing, in all honesty, because you don't want the friend to screw himself up or injure himself, or you plain disagree with his choices. You tell him what you think is wrong, and keep at it because you care about that persons well being. Or you tell him/her what is wrong with their attitude, because coming from a friend, you realize this is not some BS, but true stuff that you should consider.

Take my friend Erik. He tells me when i go too far. He tells me if i should just drop something when i can't stop. And although i may not like it, i trust him and i feel that if he says something to me about something, there is some truth to it, and that i may be in the wrong.

So here, we are talking about a friend i care about, and another person im not close to in any respect, but that share the same problem. Weed and excessive drinking. Now, Eriks advice on this is to mind my own, and not care so much. I agree that i care too much about others, if i think that they are doing something wrong. But, it has been labeled, falsely by say Douglas, that im judging.

Here in Sweden, and in a lot of the western world, the main goal of the young person and the person in general, is personal, self centered physical pleasure. Prove me wrong, please, i want to be. But, the casual sex, alcohol and drugs, the disregard for human dignity in behavior towards the opposite sex, contributing to this orgy of immoral activities, points otherwise. The whole goal is to engage in activities with absolute shallowness to have fun. The less meaningful something was, the better. If you care only about yourself, you are doing great.

Well, i don't think that way. I care about my friends, and i don't want them to ruin their lives, which they will, and i want them to GROW UP. There is more to life than physical pleasure and your own ego centric world. I care about more people than myself. Its called selflessness. You care about yourself, but you put others before you. That is what the Bible teaches, and i enjoy to serve others, and help them. So, when i say something, i want the person to see that im not judging them, but looking out for them.

But to follow Eriks advice in the most absurd way, i think i will stop doing that. Forget others. Im not here to entertain you, im not here to save you, im not here to give you a shot at the greatest gift ever anymore. I will care about myself. That's it. i will say what i want when i want because im allowed to, using no restraint ever. I will only do my work, the rest of you can do whatever with yourselves, i don't care. If you want to have sex with someone that has AIDS and i know it, but you don't, i don't care, your problem.

Because i uphold values for myself that i wish my friends had too makes me a judge. The fact that my friends experiences has been that momentary fun does not out weigh long term happiness, though the short minded teen cannot grasp that.

Since i do not want to engage in the same thing my friends do, makes me boring according to Nicole in my class. 2 words: Screw you. If anyone hangs around with me, they know that i can joke about almost anything, that i am fun to be around, and that im far from boring. So shove whatever you think i am because i don't drink up where the sun don't shine. I don't want to drink to get drunk, i don't need booze to help me have fun. I don't need to get laid, there is more awaiting in marriage. I don't need to take drugs to experience weird colors, i see God beauty in creation every day. So im sorry to say, but you guys are pathetic if you do. You are the ones who can't have fun, that are blind. Sorry. Its true.

So for anyone of you guys reading: i don't judge purposefully. If i seem like i am, then be flattered, that means i care about you, and that i feel that we are enough of friends for you to see that you maybe aren't making a wise choice. I am looking out for you, because i care about your well being. I guess im ruining your fun. But there is more to life than fun all the time, and i might say that i have as much fun as any of you.

Like Erik when he tells me that's enough: you may not like it, but if he, a friend, is telling you that what you are doing is not all ok, maybe you should listen. He is looking out for you. I will try to not barge into anyone's business like i do, i won't try to show you that maybe what you are doing isn't so smart, because it is your choice. But i need people like Erik telling me when i screw up, and all i have to say to Erik is this: Thanks Bro.


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