The Weight of the World

I broke down crying just now. I don't know why... Maybe the song I'm playing struck something, or the picture on my desktop, or what I've done, or something I thought. I cried for the second time since my parents left, since my friends left, since everyone left, since I left. For the first time, it just happened. No warning, no selfish reason, I started bawling, drooling, twisting, gasping.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Tears of sadness
Roll down my cheek
Bass pounds in my ears
Beginning of the week

Tears of fear
Fall to the floor
Soft guitar in empty space
No one around, closed door

Tears uncontrolled
Dots on my shirt
Explosions of water
Lost to parched dirt

Tears of shame
Burden of mass
The weight of the world
Doesn't simply pass

Tears of sorrow
Holding through the bridge
Overwhelming unworthiness
Enough to make me cringe

Tears of love
How can it be
That I could ever
Be so far from Thee

Tears of awe
How can it be
That you would bother
To care for me

Tears of helplessness
Where can I go
That I'm not fallen
A pathetic vertigo

Tears of joy
Coming with the lift
An unknown acquaintance
A most precious gift

Tears of resolve
It's my prayer
My efforts without You
Doomed to failure

Tears of grace
I don't deserve any
Pick me up Lord,
I'm scared oh God help me

Tears, wiped clear
Tempo subsides
Go on living
Hope picks sides.

May she be for me, may I of her be worthy,
may Your will be done, by my will undone.
Forgive me my debts, lest I fall to regrets,
the day is tomorrow anew, let it be to worship You.