Monday, August 28, 2006

Existentialist Donkey Poo

What do you know, another post TOK class rant! "Hmmm, what ticked ol' Patty off THIS time?" you're not wondering because you don't exist (more on that later). Well, more of the same really, illogical arguments and frustrating discussions in the most useless class the whole IB can offer, Theory of Knowledge.

It all starts when we try to define what is knowledge, opinion and propaganda. The trouble with this is that "knowledge" has a double entendre; there is the definition of it as used in common speech and then the real definition which is what is being discussed in TOK. The real definition of knowledge is a justified true belief. This is what our group came up with: a truth, that is absolute, unadulterated, and that can be proven. That is what knowledge is. Example? The Earth is not flat but more of a sphere. This is an example of common knowledge, you can prove these things, they do not change over time and they are not exaggerated or demeaned statements with some ulterior political goal.

So the discussion veers off because people are not listening to the fact that they are using a different definition of knowledge than what the premise presupposes: that knowledge is truth. So people veer off on tangents about how people "knew" that the Earth was flat. Again, they may have thought they knew, but they were wrong. No matter how you turn it, they were wrong, thus what they had was not knowledge (or fact if you will), they had supposition and opinion. The Greeks proved the Earth was round via mathematics a loooong time ago, and also by simple observation. The middle ages were full of let's say... Retardation of the mind, and they didn't know much, they thought they knew.
To put it simply: they knew what they thought was knowledge, when the knowledge on the matter of the shape of the Earth was entirely different. Did you catch the difference? Good.

Now, we get to the juicy stuff. There's this guy in the class who believes "that there are no absolutes, and that there is no right or wrong, just what is right to the person and the culture". A girl in the class also claims "that you cannot know anything at all, any truth, because you can't prove it completely because there could be this hypothetical universe up my ass where nothing is the same and therefore the truth wouldn't be universal and therefore not truth, so you can't know anything".

So, first off: "There are no absolutes"
Well mon cher, that right there is an absolute statement. And so was that. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. To which he responds "yeah, it's a paradox". Yeah, a paradox that proves you wrong. Im sorry but if you're gonna claim there are no absolutes, you shouldn't have an absolute statement proving you wrong. Now I guess you can argue there are no absolutes beyond that one you just said, but good luck doing that, because you just let the fact that absolutes can exist slip. And last I checked, you're a moron that doesn't know everything there is to know, so you can't prove that there are no absolutes absolutely. Try getting around that absolute.

Now: "there is no right, there is no wrong, it depends on the person yadda yadda I almost threw up typing this".
Ok, so he states this. Now, let's see if this holds up. I will take all of his possessions, shoot him in the head and skull rape him with a dead baby I killed by suffocating with a cat down its throat. This is what I was taught was ok, and this is what I believe. This is my culture, and he has no room in hell to say anything to me about it, because it is right to me, there are no absolutes and there is no right or wrong. If he even so much as objects, then he has proven himself wrong. And if he contests that his way is right aswell, and mine and his are conflicting, then we have a logical problem: two opposing truths cannot be true at the same time. Oospie, logic in TOK class? Let's forget it all together then.

On to the "what if in another universe" etc bullpoop on a stick.
What if pigs flew? They don't, but what if? Maybe in some other universe they do?
Ahhh the hypothetical world. Humans are beautiful things, right? With such a vivid imagination, anything is possible.
Ah, but that's the point: the hypothetical does not trump the factual, ever. The table im typing at I know will support my weight if I lean on it to eat my taco. But wait, by this logic, I can't know that, because it isn't a truth, it isn't knowledge because it cannot be proven as absolute truth, because in a hypothetical universe filled of poo it may be different!
Ah, but I just leaned on the desk, and lo: it did exactly what I knew it would. The teacher at this point says "ah, but you only know that by experience" in a condescending tone, as if I was any less right. Oh no friggin CRAP I know this from experience. And that's the point: in this world, this is how it works. You can hypothesize all you want about what it COULD be, you are dealing with the abstract, which is not provable, ie an opinion founded on all of... Nothing. All your musing about the world leads you to think in a world where nothing and therefore everything goes.
The problem with this is that NO ONE, even if they say they think this, lives like it is true. When you step outside, you know that the earth will keep you and not crumble under your weight, and you live accordingly. You may doubt the existence of your desk, or of anything around you, but trust me, my foot halfway up your colon will seem very, very real and concrete. Why argue the hypothetical when the hypothetical is just as much in question as the hypothetical puts the claim to be! I can back my truths with logic, reason and scientific method. You CANNOT prove yourself, and I can't prove you wrong, therefore, it's a logical moot point: it doesn't matter. So stop thinking you're bad ass because you "think outside of the box". The box exists so you can live your life sanely, and I think you would find yourself a hypocrite to discover all you have is a room in the box with a window to a world of nothing and therefore everything.

"You can't know anything!"
Well, you can't know that you can't know anything then, which would be knowing that you know that you can't know anything, which would be knowing something. And once you know something, knowing is possible and lo! You now live in reality! Welcome! Where yah been?

Finally, the thing that erks me the most is that these people continue to live as if they are still right... This is the second time I have dealt with the "there are no absolutes" statement with this guy, and yet he still says it, when he's been logically disproved. I mean, if you are shown wrong, you change opinion, right, or at least concede you have more to learn!But no, here in Sweden, you are shown to be full of crap, and you keep going, thinking some consensus has been reached. Oopsie, nope, no such luck.

With that said, I will go back to not living and not existing and not enjoying my non existent ice cream that will not make me feel better about the plight of logical thinking in a secular post modern society where everything goes when really, it doesn't.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Some ski art

Flat 3 Japan

Armada Mute


270 on

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

almost cheese and crackers

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Monday, August 14, 2006

I SO just won the DC contest!

Well, as some of you may have known, there was a contest from the DC newsletter. If you were the first to answer the question, you would get D-Way stuff by the truckload. If you were part of the 10 after that lucky fool you would get a limited edition (10 of them total) poster of the el camino by d-way in mexico signed by the bard himself:

and a t-shirt.

Well, yours trully Patty Von Webster, right here, was one of those ten. If i had gotten up just 3 hours earlier, i would have been the first, because the email was sent really early in the morn USA time and i could have hit it.

But either way (haha, i make pun!) i won something!!!! yesss!!!!

The question was:
"What trick is danny way doing on the cover of the first "The Skateboard Mag"?:

My answer:

"Danny Way is doing a Gap to Noseblunt on the DC Mega Ramp at Point X."

Their reply:


You're one of our 10 winners from the El Camino Contest that ran in last week's DC Newsclip. Because you answered the question correctly you're going to score a poster from The Skateboard Mag featuring the cover of Issue 30, signed by Danny Way himself. There are only 10 of these in existence, so the poster is very limited edition! We're also going to hook you up with a tee shirt.

Here's what we need from you:

Reply to this email with your full name, age, mailing address and tee shirt size. As soon as we have all the info we'll get the goods in the mail.

We look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for you interest in DC and for reading the Newsclip!

Paul Brewer
DC Shoes, Inc."

my reply: "Firstly Paul, may i celebrate a bit? YEEEEAAAHHH WOOOO HOOOOOOO HUZZZAH BOOOYAKASHAAA!!!!!!!!

Full Name: Patrick Anders Webster
Age: 17 years
Mailing adress: 2560 Franks Court, 95382 Turlock, California, USA.
T-Shirt size: Large

Thank you oh so very much, cheers to Danny for being himself, thank you DC for making it possible and im going to disneyland!"



Right before the X Games madness got underway we ran a contest in the Newsclip that offered up a prize package courtesy of Danny Way and The Skateboard Mag. Prizes included a Danny Way complete, t-shirts, DC shoes, and 10 posters specially made by The Skateboard Mag that feature the cover of Issue 30… on the cover Danny’s doing his now-infamous rocket backflip on the MegaRamp in Mexico City. Danny went a step further by signing each of limited edition prints- the Mag only made 10 total -and personalizing them to the winners!

The Danny Way/ The Skateboard Mag prize package belonged to the first 11 people that could answer this question correctly:
*** Danny was on the cover of the first issue of The Skateboard Mag. What trick is he doing on the cover of that premiere issue in 2004?

Issue 1.
The answer: Danny’s trick is a gap to nose bluntslide on the MegaRamp’s rainbow rail out at Point X. Thank you to everyone who responded, especially our 11 winners who replied with correct answers within just hours – we had all the winners by 7:30 the morning after the Newsclip was sent!

Manuel Pepin (Santa Margarita) responded 1st so he’ll score the complete (Plan B deck, wheels, Indy trucks, the works), a pair of DC Shoes, and a Skateboard Mag t-shirt. The following 10 people were also winners, scoring the limited edition signed poster and a Skateboard Mag t-shirt, both courtesy of The Skateboard Mag:

Alec Sim (Mount Sinai, NY); Simon Pitt (Queensland, Aus); Patrick Webster (Turlock, CA); Taylor Lindgren (Minneapolis, MN); Tom Meraw (Whistler, BC) Andrew Douglas (Western Aus); AJ Pagan (Stafford, Virginia); Ole Rauff (Denmark); Claudio Rodriguez, Jonathon Soucy

Congratulations to the winners!"

Saturday, August 12, 2006


Ben: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood...
i need your answer..
wikipedia and google hadn't a clue...

Patty: Well, after much thought, i think that a woodchuck could chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood...

Unless this wood chuck were a liberal teenage american, in which case he would deny the exitsence of the wood, call it a conspiracy from the government and proceed to post his discovery on his myspace group of fellow illuminati chucks who revel in their own pre-pubescent intellect, and who also praise their affiliation to Chuck Norris via their species (Chuck Norris of course the man whose tears cure cancer... too bad he has never cried).

I have never had such an epihany concerning a wood chuck.
I am personally a firm believe that if a wood chuck cood chuck wood he would opt out of it due to the immodesty in our post-modern culture to just 'chuck' in public. I think its quite rude honestly.

The chuck is on its way out of the mainstream. Public crackdowns in major cities such as Springfield, Nebraska and Turlock, California have imposed "Chucking zones" in public parks, as "chucking" is now completely banned in bars, restaurants, schools, internet cafés and chiropractic offices. These zones are surrouned by a 10 foot high and 3 foot thinck wall that is completely non chuckable, and many logs are there to be "chucked".

Many chucks however have decided to stop "chucking". One such chuck said:"I chucked when i was younger, we all did. We didn't know its dangers and we all did it to be cool. We have since opted out of chucking and turned our lives around. I will never go back to chucking."

However, the ever rebellious teenage population has decided to go on "chucking walks" around town, proclaiming their inalienable right as American citizens to chuck:
"It's in our constitution man, freedom of expression man! we're being seggregated against man, worse than the blacks man, worse than the gays even man! I love chucking man, it's a trip man, and freedom of expression man... yeah man!"
"It's all a conspiracy! first 9/11, then no chucking. They're all trying to keep us down, The Man is out there! But we know the government did it, me and my fellow bloggers have, even though we are all undergrads and have yet to get a manly voice, discovered the truth behind the no chucking law! It's the same as JFK!!!!"

When confronted about the immorality of chucking in public and the cancerous side effect of witnessing chucking, these liberal woodchucks have one thing to say "Morals? what's that?"

It seems as if chucking will be a thing of the past within the next few months. Law enforecment officials however say that the black market for woodchucks who thought they could chuck has blown up... "The problem won't go away instantly" warns Sgt McChuck "because where there is a woodchuck who can chuck as much as a woodchuck can chuck, there will be demand for chuck to be chucked. And we don't know how much one woodchuck can chuck".

Chilling words. Back to you Ben.

After reading the alarming reports concerning the "chucking epidemic" in the U.S. I've focused my studies into the nomadic regions of Sweden; the Stockholm area. An area where blood painted faces and spears still rule the dominant thrones their are incidents of chucking being reported. One nomadic tribe leader name $&#??: was quoting saying such, @#$ :{ @#$ :." Even I was surprised to realize that even the nomadic people are speaking up.

Continuing in my studies I went deeper into the pits of the world renowned Stockholm to get the low down from those dwelling the canibalic regions. I regret to inform you that no actual quotes were brought back to the tragic fact that my only camera guy, and text junkie "Clarence" was actually eaten alive during the interview. No conclusive evidence released concerning their thoughts on "chucking" in a post-modern culture.

The only true center of factual information was stumbled across by complete accident; a one, Stuart Webster; an American native with time spent in France and currently working in Stockholm as a part time cake-decorator and lead guitarist for Stockholm's own "senior center blues group" had this to say in response to our question (Why don't you go chuck yourself?)"Well...honestly I have to say I'm an anti-chucker. That's right. I said it! I have seen the drastic impacts 'chucking' has made in this culture. My neighbor Karl used to mow his yard every week, get his paper every morning, feed his kids every few days. But no...not anymore. Karl only has time for 'chucking', he bought a membership card to Chuckers-R-US just so he could 'chuck' whenever he felt the need. I lost my friends Karl to 'chucking' and I won't lose anyone else. I've started "NAKED" Neighbors against Karl's excessive (d) chucking (couldn't find a use for the d?). Our slogan is, "Friends don't let friends chuck..."

Well my friend Patrick...this is the news...this is the truth...and that's the way....the cookie crumbles...

back to you...

Thank you Ben for that great insight into the world of... Wait... I'm getting news that Homeland Security has just thwarted a major plot to smuggle "chuck" into the US of A via an underground tunnel system in southern New Mexico. We now go live to our senior correspondent on "chuck", Lord Von Webster. Lord you there?

-Yes Patrick, i can hear you liud and clear.

-Lord, give us the run down on the situtaion near El Taco Grande.

- With pleasure Patrick. You see, since the nation wide ban on "chuck", or as afficionados like to call it "that sweet pablo chucko", or "chucking bud that keeps on giving", or " el chuckomiendo", or "HM (How Much)", or...

- Yes yes, we see.

- Rhmh, yes, well as I was saying, since the nationwide ban on "Ze Chuque", many a woodchuck has defecated, im sorry, defected, to the Chucks Resistance Army based around Tortilla Mas Caliente, the Mexican side of El Taco Grande. The newest bust is the largest in this nations history, with over 25 tons of chuck, mainly spruce derived being captured. The bust also included a significant amount of chuck from the rare Norwegian Red Wood Of Death, estimated at a cost of over 2 billion dollars (pre tax) on the black Market. This chuck is called "Big Red", and it offers you quite an... enjoyable... high... it takes you to a nice place, covered in white lillies and...

- Lord, you're wandering again

-Sorry Pat. Anyways, Law enforcement officials are very happy to have uncovered this plot. As one senior investigator noted "We now know that the prairie dogs were in on this the whole time, and it's through their tunnels that these vile chuckies were smuggling this filth into the States". The President has since announced a war on the Great Plains. The members of Prairie Dogs Against Segregation (PDAS) are furious, but as a senior white house official noted "It so happens that all prairie dogs are not terrorists, but most terrorists are prairie dogs". The head of the Woodchuck Association of America Society (WAAS) has not been reached for comment. His secretary said something about him being in a meeting discussing Changing Human Conservative Knowldege In Non Goffers. Back to you Patrick.

-Shocking news. Just when we thought that chuck wa sbeing controlled. Reflections on the matter Ben?

Thanks for the insight.

I plan on doing a thorough investigation on the current occurances....

That was senior staff writer Ben Strizength. Thank you Ben.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Tree

Video Edit 1: The Tree

You can now view it on google video!
Higher Res Video on Google Video: Click here!

Video Edit 2: Matrix Steeze

You can now view it on google video!
Higher Res Video on Google Video: Click here!



Back Seq

Misty 5

Philip Back Seq

Pretty Boy


Synch Backs

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Yeah, so I could have died...

On Thursday the 27th of July, 2006, I very well could have been really, really screwed.

A few years back, i was mountain biking down this mountain (imagine that!), and i got stung by something. The venom was pretty localized, until a kid tried sucking it out with this weird sucking pen thing, at which point it spread in my arm and caused a massive swelling. It was very uncomfortable for a few days. So we decided to go to a clinic to get some tests done.

It ends up i had been stung by a type of wasp of which i forget the name (it has long spindly legs, V shaped wings and is really skinny). They then tested me for the common type of wasp, the vespula. They took a vial of wasp venom diluted by one part venom per billion/million, i forget, water and injected me with it. My shoulder swelled up. Now, regular wasp venom is a 4 times concentrate...

We get the results back. A normal person has an allergy of 2 on the scale for wasp stings, compared to 0 for bees, which is why wasp stings hurt more. For the type that stung me, i was a 500 something, which is pretty allergic, but nothing too bad really. Fir the vespula however, i was a 2598 or some obscene number close to that.

The doctor told me that in most cases, nothing would happen, except for a very painful localized reaction, for which he gave me some medicine that helps prevent the spread of the inflammation. However, he warned me that if the venom entered my blood stream directly, i would be in serious trouble. I would start swelling, have trouble breathing and probably pass out. It was a good idea to have a shot of adrenaline to get my heart going again to be sure to take the medicine as soon as i could. Also, i should go to the nearest hospital, because basically if Patty get venom in blood, Patty really screwed.

I have been in close proximity to wasps my whole life. At 6 Flags Holland they're everywhere, they're in trash cans all the time. So many years went bye without us ever knowing of the danger, and i didn't get stung. Praise the Lord. If you don't annoy the wasp, he won't sting you, so i tend to be the calmer one around them. I would rather them land on me and leave than me swat at them and make em mad... (Thanks to Ben for being my body guard o'er there :P).

So a week ago, i was playing volleyball barefoot, when i felt a sharp prick in my foot. The rest of this paragraph is a play by play in my mind, and the time frame is two heart beats (the time your blood takes to recirculate completely):
Ow, OW! What did i step on? One of those prickly weeds?
Oh crap, oh crap! I just friggin stepped on a wasp... Oh crap....
Holy whay the heck is he pumping so much venom in me??
He's gone... oh crap... oh crap.... Calm down, don't get excited, wait for it, sit down...
If you're gonna have a reaction, it's gonna happen soon or not at all, be ready... relax... OW!!!!!
Oh crap i could die...

After that, i lay down, squeezing my foot just above my second toe on my right foot, in the worst pain i have ever experienced. The wasp missed my blood stream. All the venom went under the skin but didn't hit any veins. I was gonna be ok. One millimeter decided if i would be in the hospital, maybe dead, or lying on the ground, in pain but well.

That, is a miracle.

If you have ever been stung by a wasp, you know the jabbing needle sensation you get from it. Because i am allergic, the pain is at the maximum that all my nerve cells can muster. Where the venom went, the most intense pain i have ever felt would come strong as a charging bull. It spread all throughout my toe, and a week later the inflammation is finally going down. My foot swelled up to double its size along the first half, and the pain didn't leave my toe until two days after. I took my meds, and the swelling went down the next day. In fact, the recovery was very quick, at least allowing me walk and run again. Thanks to everyone who prayed for me.

I was very lucky, and God protected me. Im glad to be here typing again.

If you see one of these guys:

be sure to salute it with whatever you have at your disposal.

Peace duders.